Dialogue

Well, this monologue is rapidly becoming a dialogue, and that is very exciting to me. Thanks to all of you for your wonderful and insightful comments. I’m going to skip what I was planning to talk about today, so that I can reply.

Last week, I was talking about positive thinking—about how our thoughts affect our health. In the discussion, I mentioned the possibility that some people might be called to illness to teach their caregivers life lessons. Annie made me realize what I should have said was that maybe some people are called to illness to teach themselves life lessons—what the caregivers learn from the experience is just an added bonus. Although, I do believe there are angels among us—children for instance. I have absolutely no answers there. I have no clue about those who are born ill or mentally handicap.

I actually just threw the “being called to illness” comment out there last week, because I had read it somewhere, and I was trying to be fair in my laying out of the possible options of why people get sick. My jury is still out on that one, too.

I’ve been thinking this week about Kristin and her illness. I don’t choose to believe we are victims in this life. I believe God wants us to be well and has given us all the resources we need to achieve it—including prayer. I just don’t know if I believe that we always use prayer in the correct manner. I wonder sometimes if God would rather we would ask Him probing questions instead of simply asking Him to intervene. Maybe He would prefer questions like, what can I do to heal myself, or what can I do to help my friend heal herself. Whatever means we use to heal ourselves, it all comes from God anyway. We aren’t taking credit, we are simply taking responsibility. We then aren’t approaching life as victims. We are instead using “the force” God has given us in a positive way.

I’m not trying to imply that there aren’t times when I am on my knees begging God to take over. I’m just not sure He wants to take over. I think there is a good chance He made me, so that I could learn through Him to stand up, take my mat, and walk.

I was watching ABC’s “Brat Camp” last night. The instructors teach the teens survival skills to raise their self-esteem. They teach them. They will not do it for them. Doing it for them leads to an unhealthy dependence—a vegetable-like state so to speak. If that reasoning applies from a teacher/student perspective, which is a perspective God created, then maybe it also applies from a God/me perspective.

If we are God’s temple, and He said don’t destroy His temple, then I have to believe He has given us the power to save the temple ourselves—by simply not destroying it. So, if you eat right and exercise and don’t work too much, etc., and you are still sick, you have to ask, what is it I am doing to my body? You have to ask, do I have suppressed anger and pain that I need to let surface and deal with?

I would be curious to know about Kristin’s relationship with her father. In Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom, Dr. Christiane Northrup says, “In one study, 50 percent of patients with cervical cancer…had physically lost their fathers due to death or desertion during their early years.” She also said that “raging” emotions hit below the belt.

Dr. Northrup suggests that much can be done toward healing cervical cancer by following these steps:
1. Be a witness to the wound of the past. You can do this stage for Kristin, but it is more important that she acknowledges her own wound. If she can’t acknowledge it, she is in denial, and denial makes no room for healing.
2. Investigate how the would has affected her life. This is the stage where she realizes that her life has indeed been adversely affected by someone or something.
3. Release the power of the wound to control her life. This is the final stage. Forgiveness is now required, for both herself and others.

I believe, forgiveness is just a gift you give to yourself. It’s being able to say, “You did the best with what you had. It wasn’t enough for me, but it was the best you had to offer, because of your own traumas. I understand, accept it, and can let go of the pain and anger.”

Let’s all look for ways God has given us to help heal ourselves.

Moving on, I agree with Dr. Watson that it appears positive thinking isn’t enough, but I want to make sure it is understood that I’m not taking about positive thinking from a generic perspective. I believe in “fake it ‘til you make it,” but I do think some people simply pretend to be positive, and that it is only authenticity that makes a true difference in life. Let’s think about calling it “radical acceptance” instead. Terrible things do happen in life, and it is our ability to have a positive response that moves us along. I’m going to keep thinking about this.

Duane, I totally agree that being able to cry about your pain is probably the number one healing thing we can do for ourselves. I am practically a water spout! I will do more research on the subject, but I would assume what Dr. Hawkins was talking about on the scale was more like “pity.” I know that I often times turn to my pools of grief to wash myself in pity—simply as a distraction from healing—healing in the active moving forward sense.

Thanks again for your comments! Sorry this was so long.

“Healing episodes…come about when a radical shift takes place inside, removing fear and doubt at the same time as it removes the disease.” From Quantum Healing by Deepak Chopra, MD