Learning From Experience

LEARNING FROM EXPERIENCE – by Al Sturgeon

As Gomer Pyle once taught us, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

It has been a long time, over twenty years actually, since the Collinsville Church of Christ defended itself on Phil Donahue’s show, but Churches of Christ found themselves in the middle of another fifteen minutes of fame recently, this time on a talk show hosted by Nancy Grace. It wasn’t a pleasant experience this time either.

I watch very little of the news and had actually never heard of Nancy Grace until I became enamored with the Winkler tragedy, but I happened to be watching Ms. Grace’s show when I think the idea hit her to give Churches of Christ a little attention. I heard a caller ask the question whether or not Mary Winkler’s congregation might have been cult-like, a question Ms. Grace did not know how to answer. She had a reporter read a very encyclopedic entry describing “us,” but that wasn’t very exciting.

She fixed that by the next show, however, when Pastor Tom Rukala made his appearance to share his views on the Church of Christ, using terms such as “methods of intimidation and pressure tactics” along with “cult-like tendencies” in his description. He centered on the idea that members of the Church of Christ think they are “the only ones going to Heaven” and this exclusive attitude.

And it didn’t take long for the emails to start flying. Most that I read were outraged that Ms. Grace had asked a Baptist pastor to describe Churches of Christ and encouraged letters to the show requesting that she interview a Church of Christ minister to set the record straight. I don’t know if it was the emails that did it, but the very next night she had Dr. Rubel Shelly on her show to represent “us.”

Many people will know that Dr. Shelly represents the liberal end of the Church of Christ spectrum, the most inclusive guest she could have tracked down (read: the guest most likely not to claim we’re the only ones going to Heaven). Then she went on to make him look silly, speaking only toward the role of women (in which we agree with Southern Baptists) and the traditional Christian view towards salvation for other religious groups like Jews and Muslims. I have learned that “making people look silly” is the specialty of the Nancy Grace Show.

So now what?

I think many Church of Christ folks feel that urge for revenge. You know, Don’t get mad, get even. Write some vindictive letters. Start a petition. Discredit Nancy Grace. But let’s be serious for a minute: it’s kind of hard to sport the name Jesus and seek revenge.

So many opt for “damage control” instead, a much more morally palatable option. This involves letter-writing, too, but with a different audience. Start our own public relations campaign, write letters to the editor, email your friends, explain what we “really” believe and such. “Damage control” is a natural option, the one we see employed by politicians on all levels as well as the corporate world.

But I think there’s an even better option. I suggest we focus on learning from the experience instead.

What can we learn that is worth learning? I suggest three things:

#1: DODGE BALL IS NO FUN WHEN THE OTHER SIDE HAS THE BALL.

Pastor Tom Rukala’s impressions of Churches of Christ are his own, ideas he based I’m sure on interactions he has had over the years. Those are his impressions, and it is a free country. But this doesn’t make it any more fun when you are the punch line.

We shouldn’t do the same in reverse. I have listened to many a sermon with the punch line being “Baptist” or “Presbyterian,” not to mention many others where the boogey-man was “liberal” or “conservative” or whatever other label was being attacked that week. Yet we wonder why some choose to spend their Sundays in other locations than ours, having found themselves or their family the ones on the end of these barbs.

It hurts being ridiculed, not to mention the fact that it is often less than the complete picture.

I’ve heard people say that they loved The Nancy Grace Show up until this incident, though I’ve also heard others explain that personal attack is par for the course on this show. Maybe we can learn that “taking shots” at people isn’t a good thing, even when we happen to agree with the attacker.

I plan to learn how to spot “dis-grace” when I see it, no matter what it is talking about.

#2: BEING CUT DOWN TO SIZE REQUIRES A NEW WARDROBE.

It ought to be the least bit humbling to realize that answering the question, “Who are the Churches of Christ?” was not adequately answered by our tracts. Most people don’t know. We should not be too big for our britches.

And it ought to be the least bit humbling, too, when we realize what people actually see when they look at us as a group: (a) an exclusive group who thinks that even other Christian groups aren’t going to Heaven, (b) a church that limits the role of women, and (c) a group that denies its history. This is the perception. (Funny, but instrumental music never even came up!)

Now we could debate what we “really believe” about such things, but like it or not, when others are asked, “Who are the Churches of Christ?,” this is what comes to mind.

I’d like to think long and hard about what I want people to see when they look at “us” and take steps toward that end.

People think the wrong things first when they define us. I plan to learn from this.

#3: IF YOU’RE NOT A DUCK, DON’T START QUACKING.

I’ll admit that it cracked me up to hear the “cult-like” label the first time I heard it. My picture of a “cult” involved Jim Jones preparing special Kool-Aid, so the label seems ludicrous given that picture. We may be different in various ways from other Christian churches, but we are similar in that if we are a cult, then so are all the other groups in town.

But if the “cult” label is abhorrent to us (and I believe it should be), then I hope we learn to shy away from the things that might lend credence to the argument.

A cult loves to employ the “siege mentality,” the “everyone’s against us so let’s circle the wagons” approach to church life. Wouldn’t it be ironic if we responded to accusations of cult-like tendencies by circling the wagons?

A cult likes to maintain great internal control over its people while having little to no influence on people outside its (sometimes fortified) walls. Wouldn’t it be ironic if we shied away from our foundational principle of letting everyone come to his or her own conclusions in regard to Scripture and loudly demanded adherence to the conclusions of “the group?”

I don’t like being called a cult. I plan to learn how to act less like one than before instead of the other way around.

CONCLUSION:

I am a preacher in a Church of Christ, and I am not running away. You can count me in as part of the group. I am in love with our historical plea of being “Christians only, but not the only Christians.” And I have fallen in love with the idea of allowing every person and every church family the God-given freedom to do his or her best in following Jesus without the rulings of anyone outside of Jesus. I can’t seem to escape these liberating concepts.

And I have seen many good things in Churches of Christ. When Hurricane Katrina swept my home away, I saw countless examples of love put into action by generous, compassionate people. I owe my life as I know it to these people.

But we are FAR from perfect. And we have MANY problems.

And I don’t want to just blame someone when bad things are said about us. I want to learn from the experience. I want to be better. I want “us” to be better. More like Jesus than we’ve ever approached before.

In a former life, I coached high school basketball. On one occasion, I had the pleasure of hearing Coach Bob Huggins tell of his experience going to the Final Four only to lose to a much more powerful Michigan team. After the game, his dad approached him, and Huggins expected a, “Great season, son, I’m proud of you.” Instead, his dad said, “If you would have rebounded better, you would have won.”

Huggins said he was furious with his dad. At first. Then he thought, “You know, he’s right.” So he set out to be better than he was before.

May we in Churches of Christ do the same.