Desperate Houseflies: The Magazine

Feel free to pull out your trusty fly swatter and comment on what is posted here, realizing that this odd collection of writers may prove as difficult to kill as houseflies and are presumably just as pesky. “Desperate Houseflies” is a magazine that intends to publish weekly articles on subjects such as politics, literature, history, sports, photography, religion, and no telling what else. We’ll see what happens.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Athletes?

Hello world, this is frustration.

My old friend, Terry, is beating the pants off everyone in my fantasy baseball league. Yes, he drafted Albert Pujols. And yet, to prove that my ability to lose transcends even Superman, I am currently being de-pantsed in another league by everyone - even though I drafted Phat Albert.

So this morning I check out ESPN to find out why one of my closers, Mariano Rivera, did not come in the one-run Tigers-Yankees game in the 9th inning to do his job. It turns out that he injured himself getting dressed before the game. Putting his shoes on. (This is a true story.)

Now I'll admit that playing 162 games a year could be considered somewhat on the grueling side of professional sports. I mean, having to work three to four hours a day for seven months a year for a scant few million dollars can't be easy, especially when you have to work out in the offseason in preparation for a year-long nightmare of having to endure such exhausting feats as getting dressed.

Are baseball players really wimps, or is this just me (frustration) talking? Shouldn't you be able to expect, for a few million dollars a year, a group of guys who could at least run to first base without pulling a hamstring? Or, at the very least, put on their shoes?

7 Comments:

Blogger Terry Austin said...

Richard Brummett told me a story once from the days when he went to Cards' spring training every year -- as a "work" assignment. In the Cards' dugout one day, he asked Darrell Porter why athletes seem so fragile. Porter pointed out that the pro athletes get all the bumps, bruises, muscle soreness and scrapes that weekend athletes get, but they don't get five or six days off to heal. He said if they gash their knees sliding into second, it's likely the wound won't heal until after the season's over. I wouldn't doubt that some of the sprains, pulls and tears athletes suffer come as a result of compensating for some of these "lesser" ouchies they suffer every day.

In reality, these guys play through stuff that would easily sideline us mortals.

Of course, when they're feeling a bit sluggish, there's always BALCO...

7:38 AM  
Blogger Al Sturgeon said...

Nope. I'm still mad Dogsandwich.
:-)

I could start with the Negro Leagues, getting paid jack and pitching double-headers every day, but I don't have to go back that far. Two words: Cal Ripken. Okay, three: Cal Ripken, Jr.

News story: Cal Ripken, Jr.'s attempt to break Lou Gehrig's record was cut short after he hurt himself putting his shoes on prior to yesterday's game. When asked, Ripken replied, "Really, it was more a combination of ouchies this week you know, scraped knees and the like. You could ask Darrell Porter."

Just having fun. Rivera might pitch one inning every other day or so. Ripken played every game for fifteen years. Rivera and his like are the "mere mortals," and mere mortals shouldn't get paid that kind of moolah!

8:11 AM  
Blogger juvenal_urbino said...

I go back and forth on this one. Most of the time, I agree with Al. I don't see how today's athlete gets that many more bumps and bruises than athletes in previous eras, or heal more slowly. I think it has more to do with the fact that the dollar value placed on an athlete is so much greater today. It makes management skittish, and makes the players themselves more selfish.

Every now and then, though, I think modern athletes might be like thoroughbred horses: highly evolved for their purpose, but with the side effect of fragility (and mental instability).

1:03 PM  
Blogger Al Sturgeon said...

I'm not really that upset, just having fun.

In fact, I loved the way the Tigers/Yankees game turned out:
#1: Rodney got the win (pitcher of mine)
#2: Ordonez/Guillen got some extra RBI's (both mine)
#3: Rivera didn't blow the save (since he was injured)

But I do think it is weird how many injuries take place in baseball where a guy has to be out for weeks at a time - seems to be more than both football & basketball, which have much more contact. Add to that the fact that baseball salaries are the biggest & its just interesting to notice. That's all.

1:30 PM  
Blogger Al Sturgeon said...

Okay Terry, is this poetic justice for me or what? My man, Pujols, goes down chasing a foul ball.

The Dogsandwich team has the full right to practice voodoo on the Big Owls.

6:03 AM  
Blogger Terry Austin said...

Way to go, Al.

Howsabout you stick to talking about abortion?

7:31 AM  
Blogger Al Sturgeon said...

With my luck, I'll probably jinx abortion, too.

Whatever that means.

8:19 AM  

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